The other day I got an email from one of my best friends. It was nothing big, nothing extremely moving, or extravagant. But it made my day.
It went like this:
"I found this funny picture of us.... I seriously remember this day. I love you, and am happy that we have been friends for so long, can't wait till i see you next!
love you,
Anniebear"
(Attached was this picture...)
But, there's more to the story than that. As I read this email, it reminded me of my childhood. Things I loved. Things I didn't love so much... (Ahem, broccoli...peas....anything and everything green...)
And as you can see, I loved dolls. I loved house. I loved bunnies. I loved dogs. I loved swings. I loved scraping ice off the freezer shelves and eating it. (So sick, I don't know HOW I didn't get a disease from that...) I loved making "dye" from crushed up flowers and water.
I loved pretending.
I loved imagining.
And I loved creating.
I loved pretending.
I loved imagining.
And I loved creating.
Well now some of those things have changed. For example, I love snow cones instead of germ infested ice shavings tasting like metal mixed with peas/corn/whatever else sat on the shelf. And I love children instead of dolls. (Even though I might willingly dress dolls and play house with my nieces...)
But some of them havent changed. I will still only eat a very limited amount of green food... (And my grandma still disapproves of that..) I still wish I could see the backstreet boys concert tomorrow.. (Oh shoot did I not mention that before? Sorry.. must be a long lost childhood dream buried deep in my heart...)
Okay, okay, let me tell you what really hasn't changed.
I still love pretending. I still love to imagine.
But more importantly, I live to create.
Whether it be making my sister's favorite meal when she comes to visit, or constructing crafts with my nephew as his imagination runs wild. I love it. And sometimes, most times, its more than that.
(Note: I mentioned cooking and crafts. By cooking I mean dropping some noodles in boiling water and pouring sauce over the top, and by crafts I mean pre-school level crafts. Just to be clear.)
I'm not a brilliant chef creating masterpieces from scratch that change the lives of everyone who tries it- like my sister in law. And everyone knows I'm not a creator in the craft world. Sure, I can glue green construction paper to a plastic cup for my nephew, but when it comes to sewing aprons, making $5 chandeliers look like those straight out of pottery barn, and making bows cuter than anything store-bought like my sisters and mom...I sit there aimlessly my jaw dropping lower by the second (SERIOUSLY they can do EVERYTHING!).
But more importantly, I live to create.
Whether it be making my sister's favorite meal when she comes to visit, or constructing crafts with my nephew as his imagination runs wild. I love it. And sometimes, most times, its more than that.
(Note: I mentioned cooking and crafts. By cooking I mean dropping some noodles in boiling water and pouring sauce over the top, and by crafts I mean pre-school level crafts. Just to be clear.)
I'm not a brilliant chef creating masterpieces from scratch that change the lives of everyone who tries it- like my sister in law. And everyone knows I'm not a creator in the craft world. Sure, I can glue green construction paper to a plastic cup for my nephew, but when it comes to sewing aprons, making $5 chandeliers look like those straight out of pottery barn, and making bows cuter than anything store-bought like my sisters and mom...I sit there aimlessly my jaw dropping lower by the second (SERIOUSLY they can do EVERYTHING!).
So I've tried to stick to something a little different. Less complicated. Something a little more personal and a lot less foreign. I'm not an author of a world famous book, or a poet of endless, dreamy poems.
I wish.
But both of those are things I love. Because it's something they created. They didn't just write a book, they created feelings.
I write to create feelings. Thoughts. Emotions. Not in others, but in myself. And if, by any grand miracle it could possibly touch others, I would truly be inspired.
I wish I could take experiences I have, bottle them up, poor them into my computer and click post. And let you see what I saw. And hear what I heard. Because then you could really truly feel what I felt.
And that's why I write. Because I can't twist my memories shut with a lid. I can't fill a baggy up with my feelings and save them for later. They happen right then. And unless I write about it, sometimes I forget. And they fade.
And so here I am. Writing. Creating feelings in myself. Feelings of freedom.
Freedom from pleadings, and Redman files. Freedom from "Pat Christensen's office this is Rachel." Freedom from firetruck sirens and screeching car breaks (and horns...). Freedom from florescent lighting and paper cuts. Freedom from work.
I write to create peace. Peace knowing that maybe someday, somewhere, my daughter might be feeling the same feelings I am. And that she might, just maybe, be able to read my words. And relate. And feel understood. Feel peace. Peace knowing that I know life is hard. And busy. And overwhelming stressful. But that it will be okay. Because I am doing it. You are doing it. We all are doing it. So we can learn and grow.
And that brings peace.
I write to find joy and perspective. Joy in the good times, and perspective in the hard.
I write to remember. I write to learn. I write to love. I write to feel. And I write to change.
So whether it be cooking, crafting, writing, painting, singing, sports, running, or whatever else your heart desires... I challenge you to create. Create those feelings in you.
But do it not because you have to. Not even because you want to. But because you need to. Because whether it's an email from a friend, or an urge in the back of your mind, I know there is something there. Something deep down begging you to.
So that you too can remember and refresh.
And by doing that, I promise it will bring about change. Changes you didn't know needed to be made. Happiness you didn't know you felt. And more freedom than you would have ever thought possible.
Do it...
I dare you.
I wish.
But both of those are things I love. Because it's something they created. They didn't just write a book, they created feelings.
I write to create feelings. Thoughts. Emotions. Not in others, but in myself. And if, by any grand miracle it could possibly touch others, I would truly be inspired.
I wish I could take experiences I have, bottle them up, poor them into my computer and click post. And let you see what I saw. And hear what I heard. Because then you could really truly feel what I felt.
And that's why I write. Because I can't twist my memories shut with a lid. I can't fill a baggy up with my feelings and save them for later. They happen right then. And unless I write about it, sometimes I forget. And they fade.
And so here I am. Writing. Creating feelings in myself. Feelings of freedom.
Freedom from pleadings, and Redman files. Freedom from "Pat Christensen's office this is Rachel." Freedom from firetruck sirens and screeching car breaks (and horns...). Freedom from florescent lighting and paper cuts. Freedom from work.
I write to create peace. Peace knowing that maybe someday, somewhere, my daughter might be feeling the same feelings I am. And that she might, just maybe, be able to read my words. And relate. And feel understood. Feel peace. Peace knowing that I know life is hard. And busy. And overwhelming stressful. But that it will be okay. Because I am doing it. You are doing it. We all are doing it. So we can learn and grow.
And that brings peace.
I write to find joy and perspective. Joy in the good times, and perspective in the hard.
I write to remember. I write to learn. I write to love. I write to feel. And I write to change.
So whether it be cooking, crafting, writing, painting, singing, sports, running, or whatever else your heart desires... I challenge you to create. Create those feelings in you.
But do it not because you have to. Not even because you want to. But because you need to. Because whether it's an email from a friend, or an urge in the back of your mind, I know there is something there. Something deep down begging you to.
So that you too can remember and refresh.
And by doing that, I promise it will bring about change. Changes you didn't know needed to be made. Happiness you didn't know you felt. And more freedom than you would have ever thought possible.
Do it...
I dare you.
