All about love.

So Valentine's Day is coming up. Want to know how I know?

I don't fit in any of my jeans.

I notice every couple on campus...and feel like yelling obnoxious things a fifth grader would say everytime I see them hold hands or share a kiss. (You know, the whole "get a room!" or "EW! You guys are disgusting" comments. Yeah I know, immature. But who said Valentine's was made for couples? I thought it was made for a tub of ice cream and a chick flick...)

I realize just how many plans I don't have on 14th. When else do I ever notice that?

I plan on using my Coldstone gift card on a specific day.

I am always hungry. (Wait...nevermind, this one isn't holiday specific.)

I have refilled the "Love" jar on my kitchen counter three times. And it never stays full. (Starting with an assortment of butterfinger/reeses/cookies n' cream hearts and hugs, to frosted circus animal cookies and ending with chocolate covered candycane sticks....it just won't stay full for some odd reason? Maybe that's why my jeans don't fit....)

I've lost all motivation to go to the gym. (I don't know why? Since when does sugar make you want to throw away your gym card? Weird.)

I light candles and listen to love songs.

I use my red "Rachel" bowl....for every meal. (Shoot did I just giveaway my cereal/soup/cream of wheat diet? Sorry mom....maybe someday I'll be a good cook....)

I feel like wearing pink. I never feel like wearing pink.

I've already started planning my next vacation...in the sunshine. (Still looking for someone to finance my days in the sun. Any takers? Anyone? Anyone?)

I'm trying to figure out a way to buy an entire year's supply of JuJu hearts from Harmons. Still working on that one....

I reluctantly pass the Valentine aisle every time I'm in the grocery story and convince myself I'm too old to pass out Valentines. (But remember how fun it was to make your valentine box? And find the cutest valentines to address to all your favorite friends? Who said I can't pass them out on campus? Since when is it 'creepy' to take candy from strangers? Psh I don't know what everyone's talking about...)

I have a million great ideas for a Valentine's sweetheart. (Why have I never had those when I actually had a Valentine's sweetheart? Oh wait...maybe because I've only ever had one. And it was in highschool. A candygram was good enough back then.)

I feel like writing in cursive. (Which by the way fourth graders- you can quit losing sleep over how to connect the "u" and the"r"...you really won't ever use it again.)

....And I feel like talking about love. A whole lot more than usual.

Forgive me. I really don't mean to be the Valentine Scrouge. I'm not one of those "let's throw an 'I Hate Valentines Day' or 'Un-Valentines' party" I swear. I love Valentines Day. I think it's fun. And festive. It's a day focused on something positive. Love. It's one of the funnest holidays as a kid. And one of the most romantic as an adult (Or so they say...)
It's just...I'm still working on that same boring outline that gave me the monday blues. And I'm still bored of doing it. And I really can't focus on it anymore.... so I decided to succumb to the thoughts that have been begging to take over.
Valentines Day. Love. Treats.
I don't know why those would be the thoughts swimming through my mind? (Maybe it has something to do with all that Red Velvet cake I just ate straight out of the pan?) But they are.

So. Since I don't have a Valentine, I'm going to steer clear of that kind of post. I'll save that for all you marrieds. Stay tuned for that...gimme 10 years.

I just want to share a few of my "loves" with you. For the spirit of Valentines Day...and all the joy it brings...

I love oreos. Seriously. I could easily eat two sleeves in one sitting- no shame.
I love painting my nails. My family (and close friends) would agree. My sister Lisa (who would much rather paint a canvas than her nails) would call it more of an obsession. She might be right.
I love the sun. Hate being in a swimsuit...but love the sun. (Okay Matt, you convinced me, I'll transfer to Arizona State. The low is 8 here tonight. And that's warm.)
...Which naturally must be followed with: I love Lake Powell. Everything about it. (Okay Becs, you're right, maybe not the bathroom toilets. But everything else.)
I love sleep...but I never do it enough.
I love to read.
I love to write.
I love taking baths.
I love bubble gum.
I love coupons. (And not the dumb valuepack that comes in the mail. I mean ones you don't have to buy 5 things before you get something for 50% off.)
I love children. I love the comments they make. The ease with which they live their lives. And their ability to love everyone and everything... unconditionally.
I love vanilla flavored/scented anything.
I love watching the Disney Channel when I'm sick. (That's for you anne...)
I love oatmeal pies. Yes they are exactly what you are thinking. Those cookie sandwiches (filled with fake frosting and not a hint of actual "oats") you would get with orange slices and capri suns after soccer games as a kid.

But more importantly....
I love my mom. I love her for her zest for life and the way she loves me like no one else could. I love her spunk and her ability to make anything fun. I love her testimony and how she lives to make her children happy.

I love my dad and his ability of always understanding where I'm coming from. I love that he always wants to see me happy, and does everything he can do make it that way. I love how hard he works for our family, and the incredible things we get to do because of it.

I love my brother Matt for making an effort to be involved in my life even with his busy schedule of work and family and church. (I even love the "cow" jokes and the pleas for that one "glass of water" or that "back massage" I somehow always owe him..)

I love my sister-in-law Becca and the way she can make me laugh so hard it hurts, yet bring me to tears with her touching words. I love her for her example, for her love for motherhood, and the inspiring life she lives.

I love my sister Michelle for her sound advice and ability to truly feel what I feel. I love how excited she always is to see me, and how sad she is to see me go. She makes me feel important. She makes me feel loved. And I will forever admire that ability to love so easily.

I love my brother-in-law Scott, and the way he lives and breathes for his family. The way he would sacrifice anything and everything to make them happy. I love him for the way he loves my sister.

I love my sister Juli. I love how she always wants to make things right, always wants to make life a little better for everyone around her. I love the pillar of strength she's been at times when she could have, should have been weak.

I love my brother-in-law Nick. I love his simplicity and the way he makes everyone feel comfortable. I love watching him be a dad. I love the way he is interested in my life and makes an effort to include me.

I love my sister Lisa and the friend she's always been. She has lifted me in times no one else could. I love the way she strives to be a good wife, mother, and friend. I love her stories, and the passion she has for life.

I love my brother-in-law Jon and the amazing addition he's been to our family. I love his gentleness, and how he always notices the little things. I love the fact he always wants me to come visit and makes it so much fun when I do.

I love my brother Brad. I love that we got to grow up together. I love the friendship we developed (Yes, developed, we didn't always used to get along...to say the least...). I love our inside jokes. I love the memories we share and how much fun we have together...it's unlike anything else.

I love my sister-in-law Heather and the way she loves my brother. I love how competitive and secretly gutsy she is (serious- she went bungee jumping in Uganda....). I love her love for children and ability to relate with them. I love how she always asks me questions- and actually cares about the answers.

All in all, I love my family. I love Valentines, and not just for the yummy treats and festive decorations. And not for the "be mine's" and the dozen roses headed my way.... (come on- I still have 5 days!) I love Valentines because it truly is all about love.

So whether you have a sweetheart or not, take time to think about love this Valentine's season. (It's a season right...? I mean advertisements go up right after Christmas and don't end till Easter....)
Think about those who matter.
And forget those who don't.
Let go of that grudge. Get past that pride. Let that broken heart heal.
Hug that lonely heart. Call that friend. Remember that forgotten soul.

Say "I love you."

Because life is too short to not. It's too unstable to put off.
And it's too important to forget, that it truly is all about love.

From my heart to yours,
Happy Valentine's Day.

Monday Blues.

Today is monday.

Not just because my calendar says so. Not just because my alarm went off at 7:40 (which I then continued to snooze till 8:02...) for my 8:30 am class. And not just because my institute teacher started off with his usual "anybody do anything fun over the weekend" question that he does every monday (to which the usuals raise their hands and share pointless information no one really wants to know. Rude I know sorry...it's a side effect of... mondays).
I know today is monday because I can feel it. It's true. I'll admit....


I have the monday blues. 


You know, the ones that come when you have a headache of a week ahead and you aren't quite ready to start it. The blues that set in because you're lingering on thoughts of the weekend...wishing, hoping, praying it could last just a little bit longer. The ones that accompany a long list of to-do's that you still haven't done...an overwhelming desire for sleep that you know you'll never get...and a fridge full of nothing any real human being feels like eating. (Serious...who wants turkey slabs or a chunk of cheese?). Yep those ones.

And these monday blues are even worse. Because not only do I have the monday blues but I am also having another bloggers blah. (If you don't remember this....I'll remind you here.) 
I have so much I have wanted to blog about. So...so much to say.....yet I get overwhelmed at the thought of trying to say it all. You know what I mean? It's not that nothing great's happened to me....or that I have truly nothing on my mind. It's quite the opposite actually. I have too much to tell, too much that I want to share. So.... I guess this is my feeble attempt at an apology. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not sharing, not appreciating, and not recognizing as I should have. I am blessed. And I promise I'm grateful.

However, at the moment....I'm succumbing to my monday blues. First reason why....I'm in the library supposed to be outlining chapters 1-5 of my textbook. Doesn't sound so bad until I tell you that's 119 pages. Yeah....ouch. Second reason...I'm fighting my eyelids- and I mean seriously fighting them. And third reason...I just plain don't have the right words. I'll try. Honestly I will. But don't expect too much. After all...it is monday.
(I mean, they say a picture's worth a thousand words right? So here goes. Here's my thousand words....)

The top 5 highlights of my life....as of late.

#1. My two best friends had birthdays. First there's Annie...

Who I honestly can say has changed my life. She's the friend that knows me better then most people know themselves. She's the one who knows my favorite cereal and could describe any piece of clothing in my closet. She's the one who asks how I'm doing and waits to hear my answer. She calls me just to say I love you. She remembers the little things and is excited for the big things in my life. She's that phone call I can always make. Hers are the arms that are always open. Her smile is one that makes everything feel okay. And her laugh will forever echo in my ears as a sound of true happiness...and love. 

Thanks to her, my heart has been filled with love at times it was nearly broken. Thanks to her, my tears have been dried when I never thought they'd stop falling. Thanks to her, my day has been better when I thought it could never get worse. And thanks to her, my life has been forever blessed. Happy birthday Anniebear. 

Next, there's Jon....

Who quite honestly has been an anchor unlike any other in my life. He has seen me through some of the most difficult and most rewarding times. He's been there when all I needed was a listening ear. He's felt my pain when I thought I was all alone. He's been a comfort on nights I thought the sun would never rise. He's made me laugh when....well let's be honest. He always makes me laugh. We have fun together.   And I couldn't of asked for a better friend. Thanks for being you JB. Thanks for all the fun memories. Thanks for being such a big part of my life. You truly are changing me for the better. Day. By. Day.

#2. I got a package from a far away friend....

...Why is that cool you might be wondering? Well sometimes we have friends. Friends who understand us in ways no one else could. Ones who will be crazy with us when we feel like being crazy. Ones who we could talk with for hours on end and never run out of things to say. Ones we never feel awkward with. Ones we'd trust our secrets with, and never worry what they'd say behind our backs. Ones who bring the best out in us. 

Well at least I do. And he...

...happens to be far, far away. And I mean far as in 5500 miles away. And I got a package from that friend. Which happens to be...a pretty big deal.

#3. I had a talk with a best friend that broadened my perspective, and strengthened my trust in God.

#4. I took a much needed rollerskating night after a week of too many papers, and too much reading...

#5. And last but not least, I spent a weekend with the world's greatest parents... 

...and I wouldn't have traded it for the world. I've always known I have great parents. Not just because everyone and their dog has told me of the amazing impact they've made on their lives...but because of the examples they've been to me. 

Growing up you don't always appreciate your parents the way you do as you get older. At least I didn't. I mean what kid is going to say "gee mom, thanks for helping me learn how to clean by having me do the dishes.." or "hey dad, thanks for making me go on trek so I could gain a greater testimony and appreciation for the pioneers." Yeah...not me. But that's normal (at least I hope it is...). As a child and a teen parents are there to be parents. (Shocking right?) They aren't there to be your best friends. They are there to teach you. To help guide you in the direction you need to be going.

But when you get older, that changes. (I know, all of my siblings are thinking, older? You'll always be 9 years old in my mind. Or, older? You're only 19. But you'll all just have to trust me on this one...) I've learned a lot from my parents. They've taught me all kinds of lessons. They've helped mold me into the person I am becoming. 

But that's not what I want to focus on. Because those are things that most parents do. 

And my parents aren't like most parents. 

My parents are different. 

They taught me all they could, but then they let me go. They let me experience things on my own. They gave me independence to use the things they taught me and become something great. And for that I am grateful. Because my parents have become my best friends. 

So, spending a weekend with them wasn't a hassle. It wasn't an inconvenience. It was incredible. It was exciting. We got ice cream, we laughed. I showed them my apartment, my school. They were interested in my life because they love me. And they cared enough to show it. 

So thank you mom and dad. Thank you for not just teaching me, but for stepping back and watching me learn on my own. I am who I am because of you. And if I could be half of the person you both are, it would truly be a miracle.

And there you have it folks. There's my top 5. I'll blog again soon....and it'll be a lot better. I promise.

As for now, Minority Families in the United States is calling my name. Ugh. What kind of title is that? I'm bored already.

Happy monday.