Some stars that we see have already died...but we still need their light to brighten up our night. Sometimes they're all we have.
Have you ever layed on a blanket, on a tramp, on the grass, in a meadow, in a truck, in the mountains, in a boat on a lake, on the sand, on the dirt.....anywhere, and looked at the stars?
I have. I could do it for hours. Every night. And never get bored. I love stars.
There are nights like this, where you watch the first star come out...
And there are nights like this where you can't find a bare spot in the sky...
But either way, there are stars.
How often can you lay underneath a blanket of stars and not think? And I don't mean about that cute boy in your high school math class, or what you are going to make your kids for dinner the next day. I mean really think. About life. About what it's all about here.
How often do you lay there sorting through feelings and listening to thoughts you may not have otherwise? How many times do you have the chance to block the world out, and let yourself think and feel again? Without any stress. Without any distraction.
Stars do something to me. They amaze me. Their absolute beauty.
The way its as if they twinkle the longer you look at them.
It's as if they illuminate the entire sky, yet, they are so far away.
So all we can do is lay there. And look at them. Let them amaze us.
Let our minds think. Or let them rest. And let our hearts feel. Feel peace.
I want to tell you about another kind of star. The kind of star that you don't have to be laying on a blanket on the grass to see. The kind of star that doesn't fade as the sun rises. And doesn't shine only when the night is dark.
The kind of star that you not only love, but that can love you back. The kind of star that makes you laugh, and smile. The kind of star that will never stop shining, even after it has burned out.
And the kind of star you will never find anywhere else.
His name is Alec. He is my cousin. My friend. My star.
And although he is gone, I will forever need his light to brighten up my night.
And today, as I prepare to celebrate his life with family, I want to pay a small tribute. To you Alec. For being that kind of star in so many lives. For touching everyone you met. For making a difference. And for leaving your footprint on my heart. Because I will never be the same.
So to you Alec, I want to say thank you. Thanks for being you. Thanks for laughing with me.
I will never forget waiting to sit on your lap very last, because I knew I couldn't get through even one round of "I love you baby but I just can't smile," without completely losing it. Or the hours spent playing "Pit" and "Spoons." I cherish the memories of us racing to Grandma's to show each other our coolest new Christmas present. I will miss our breakfasts of "floaters" and "slyrrup." Thank you for the deep conversations where you shed light on me. Thank you for your amazing insight, and the wisdom far beyond your years. I know I am a year ahead in school, but we all know there is no advice I could have given you that you didn't already know. Or had already given me. You are incredibly smart, and gifted. Use those gifts and that knowledge now. Continue to learn. And continue to teach me.
I will miss your laugh, and your kind heart. Your determination and love for learning. I will miss you. Everything about who you are. I already do. And if I can make a small request? Please be with me. Be with all of us. Your family. So we can continue to experience life together. And please don't forget how much your family loves you. I love you. And we all still need your light.
May you continue to touch others there as you have touched us here.
Love always,
Rach.
