Not too far from here.

Done. Finished. Through. Accomplished. Overcame. Endured. Survived.

Finals.

I'm not sure how but I did it. Somehow I made it through this treacherous, merciless, completely overwhelming and exhausting week.

A week of coughing, sneezing, headaches, cramps, and infections. A week of too much stress and too little sleep. A week I hope to never live again.

And I am more than relieved. More than overjoyed. More than ecstatic.

I am pooped.

I'm tired and ready to be done being sick. And I'm finally going to make peace again after a long, ruthless fight with my body. I'm surrending. And it actually feels nice to lose this battle.

Now.

Let me tell you a story.

The date was December 9th 2009.

I had been at the library for too long. Much, much too long. How long do you think is too long? 3 hours? 4 hours? 6 hours? HA. Yes, I am laughing.

HA HA HA.

I agree all those are too long. But this story takes place at hour 10.

I had eaten 2 meals, read 120 pages, completed a 10 page study guide, gone to the bathroom 7 + times, and blown my nose at least 40. (No I didn't count but if you don't believe me...ask the series of people sitting near me. I bet they would agree I walked past them a few too many times...)

I was fried. And I wasn't done. I had to make it 2 and a half more hours. And I had 5 more questions to answer. Up until that point, I was okay. I was focused, I was searching for answers, and actually understood what I was reading. I didn't feel stressed or overwhelmed. I didn't feel like I couldn't do it.

But then it hit me. Or rather I hit it. The w a l l.

You know that little lightbulb they always talk about turning on when you think of something really smart, or have a really great idea? Or just pretty much when you are actually using your brain? Yeah well mine was burning real dim. I couldn't focus, I couldn't find the answers, I couldn't understand a single sentence in any paragraph I tried to read. And right then was when every feeling of stress, every thought of self doubt, the headache from the overload of information combined with much too much pressure in my sinuses....hit me. All of it. At once. And it was so overbearing I couldn't even cry. My chest hurt, like I had 20 pounds of books stacked on it. My head was spinning. (I've always heard that phrase used in the movies...but never actually thought it happened. Boy was I wrong. It was spinning in mad circles...)

And I had no mom to give me a hug and tell me "it would all be okay". I had no dad to come up behind me and rub my shoulders and make me laugh. Instead, I had a highlighter. I had a book. And I had my ipod.

I was alone. In the freezing library. Stuck. I didn't have my parents, my sisters, my friends...none of them were there. None of them were there to tell me what to do, or help me make it through.

And that is when I realized what song was playing. What song just happened to come on shuffle on my ipod. And I as I heard these words...

Somebody's down to their last dime
Somebody's running out of time
Not too far from here
Somebody's got nowhere else to go

Somebody needs a little hope
Not too far from here
And I may not know their name
But I'm praying just the same
That You'll use me Lord to wipe away a tear
Cause somebody's crying
Not too far from here
Somebody's troubled and confused
Somebody's got nothing left to lose
Not too far from here
Somebody's forgotten how to trust
Somebody's dying for love
Not too far from here
It may be a stranger's face
But I'm praying for Your grace
To move in me and take away the fear
Cause somebody's hurting
Not too far from here

Help me Lord not to turn away from pain
Help me not to rest while those around me weep
Give me Your strength and compassion
When somebody finds the road of life too steep
Somebody's troubled and confused
Somebody's got nothing left to lose
Not too far from here
Somebody's forgotten how to trust
And somebody's dying for love
Not too far from here
Now I'm letting down my guard
And I'm opening my heart
Help me speak Your love to every needlful ear
Someone is waiting not too far from here

Someone is waiting not too far from here

.... I remembered.

I remembered who was there for me. At times when no one else could be.

I remembered I had God.

I remembered why I am here. I remembered it's not about me. I had been scooped up in this whirlwind of stress and nonstop worry about me. But that's not what I am here for. I came here for Him. To be an instrument in His hands. Just like He came here for me.

At that moment, alone, cold, and overwhelmed in the library, at hour 10, I remembered. And I prayed. And He was there for me.

And that is how I made it. That is how I am here. Right now. Telling a story about someone not too far from here. Because at 10 o'clock, on December 9th, I was that someone. Waiting for Him.

I was the one who needed a little hope. I was the one who was troubled and confused. I was the one that found the roads of life too steep. It was me.

You may be reading this and thinking, "yeah well I don't have finals to study for".

So maybe it's not finals.

Maybe it's that you don't know how you're going to get your kids to school and to lessons, and make dinner and do the other millions of things on your to do list.

Maybe you don't know how you are going to get all your Christmas shopping done.

Or maybe you don't know how to fix a hurting relationship.

Maybe you don't know how to cope with the loss of your loved one.

Maybe you can't bear another day living far from family.

This was just my story. And unfortunately, there was no magic, or handsome princes (although there was a really nice guy sitting at my table....) or glass slippers. But I can tell you one thing. There was a happy ending.

So as you are caught in your own whirlwinds of life, I hope you might remember a story you once read one ordinary day in December.

But even more, I hope you will remember Him...

Especially this holiday season.

The End.