It's not the destination, it's the journey.

I stood in the dark. 
So many voices surrounded my body it was easy to tune myself out. I could feel the heat seeping into my cheeks, my neck, my ears. 
The night breeze teased at my skin, offering only seconds of relief and comfort. Something about the wind. It makes me feel at home again. Like my Aunt Diane's homemade rolls. 
My eyes grazed the black sky. I could feel a mesquito probing my foot, searching for it's next meal. 
The smoke caught my eye. 
The flame was bright and the heat was overpowering. 
Her smile was pure. Wonder seeped from every pore of her face. Excitement occupied every crevice of their bodies...
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I've been thinkin. Well, obviously. And you know what that means. Usually something somewhat sappy and long, with an ending purely philosophical. I'm sorry, sometimes I just can't help it.

I guess it just hits me sometimes. Random times. Like a bucket of cold water when you walk through a door frame on April fools day (Matt? Dad? Don't get any ideas...) 
Maybe has to do with this "magic land" I seem to be living in.
Where everything grows and the sun's always out (....which by the way, all you utahn's out there praying for sun- let up a little would ya? Pretty please? I'm about to evaporate from this wet heat over here. Thanks.)
Where no one needs lotion (you got it- my tiny bottle of Cetaphil has somehow lasted. Unbelievable right?), there are a limited amount of stop lights, and everything is "one size fits all."

I've started to really love this place. Amidst the heat, the bugs, and the language that sounds like everyone has hot sauce sitting on their tongue. No, I'm not going to move here once this whole thing's over. But. I will take a part of it with me. Forever.

A lot has happened here. I've discovered myself in so many different ways. Which, although naive and a bit immature, I thought I had it all at least somewhat figured it out after all these theraputical blog posts. But I'm pretty sure I've just barely begun. I've just started my life, really. I've just begun to take on the world. To truly see things through different eyes. This place is changing people. I'm seeing it. I'm living it.

This past week I've started to really know my group. They have started to become my family here. I mean after all, we spend nearly every meal together. We share the same living quarters (ish). We share English-Thai dictionaries. We play games together at night. We tease each other. And we laugh. All. The. Time.

Curious? Maybe not. But maybe. So because there is even just a small hope that you might be interetested...I'll share.

There's Rachel who is like an older sister. She has life just a little bit more figured out. (Okay...a lot bit more) She's comfortable in herself, and she just has that light. That one everyone seems to be striving for.

Then there's Chris. Her husband. Chris will make the world's best doctor. He takes care of anyone and everyone. He is genuine, through and through.

 

There's Jordan who makes me laugh but also knows how to tease me (in a non-flirting way, Juls, stop!). He loves football and hates taking the same picture with more than one camera.

There's Todd who is a silent wonder. Who, with a little luring, has come out of his shell and found his nook right in the middle of the group. Everyone likes Todd. He'd never be on anyone's bad side or put anyone on his. Oh yeah...and he loves ketchup on his pizza.

Then of course there's Krystal. She loves green curry and is the world's best researcher. She knows everything about everywhere. She takes on responsibility and loves to learn.

There's Jamie who dreams of peanut butter and will always finish my chocolate Soymilk (yeah I know soymilk? It's my only option here...). She loves it when you wake up and realize you still have a few hours of sleep left...and she loves Harry Potter. We were meant to be friends.

Then there's Courtney who tells the best stories and gives the best massages. Her legs are palm tree tall, and her hands can hold the top of my head while she is still sitting down....she's 5'10". Her laugh is contagious and she loves juiceboxes.

There's Carly who loves to take pictures and has a hard-to-break habit of biting her nails (nuh uh! I swear I've stopped. Kinda. A little bit. Okay fine...but only if they're not painted.). She is a strong girl who is willing to take a chance, a chance that could change her life.

I'm almost done I promise....
All that's left is my room. Oh and my country directors, Dave and Hudson. Hold tight.

In my room lives Katie, Taylee, and myself.

Well, we all know Katie. The sweetest and most sincere person on the planet. She has gotten me through so many hard times, and together, we have embarked on this journey of the unknown. She loves oreos (but they have to be double stuffed), and can't sleep without washing her face. She can still wear the same shorts that she could in 8th grade (seriously? you don't even wanna know what would happen if I tried that...) and she and I can laugh for hours. 

So what about Taylee? Taylee is my right hand man. Well, girl. Literally. She sleeps on my right and Katie on my left. The best way of describing Taylee is like discribing a heater in winter. You know the kind. The kind of winter that is frigid, with snowflakes brushing the windows too fast to keep count. And the kind of heater that warms even the coldest of hands, noses, toes.. the second they enter a room. We've just always clicked. We've traveled together and slept in the same room (and now the same bed) since Day 1. Literally. And we have loved every minute of it. Oh and something else about Taylee? She hates washing her face at night and is always up for a good cheeseburger.

Breathe. Two more and I swear I won't bore you with any more facts you probably don't really care about.

But I honestly couldn't forget my directors. They are like.....Bert and Ernie. Michael and Dwight. Nicholas Sparks and Mary Higgins Clark. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.

Dave is the kind of person you could know so well yet always find out something you never knew. He is a ball full of energy. He makes us laugh. And laugh. And laugh. Seriously, he's that funny. He is unlike anyone you have ever met. He likes peanuts in his coke. He loves kids. He could tell one, simple, story for hours. And he hates when people don't say what they mean. He's the definition of a hot tub after a long day of skiing. Completely relaxed.

As for Hudson, he's just about......the opposite. But in the best way. He gets the job done and is always sensitive of how everyone's doing. He loves...and I mean loves Rodies (These crepe-like dessert specialties here in Thailand). His humor is dry, but hilarious. His Thai is incredible. And he's in love with a girl named Eve.

Phew. You made it. The worst is over.
That's the crew.
And together, we all mesh. Like papaya salad. A bunch of random ingredients combined together to make a delicious delicacy. Okay..maybe a bit far fetched but you get the main idea right?
Bottom line: we work.  
We fit. We all bring something to the table and all of us have something to gain from it. And so far? So good.

As for the philosophical ending, here goes.We all have different interests. Different talents. Skills. Abilities. Corks. Strengths. Weaknesses. Temptations. Insights. Ideas. We're all just all around, different. But if there's anything I have learned while being here in Thailand, with this small "family" of individuals, it's just that. Diversity exists. It's crucial to our understanding of life. It's crucial to our understanding of ourselves. It's crucial to our understanding of other people. But it's even more than that. All those differences, all those traits and experiences, working together, can change the world. And I dont mean that in a cheesy bumper-sticker-you-see-on-that-environmentalist's-car sort of way. I mean that in the most real way possible.

I can't stop Sex Trafficking.
I can't extinguish the uncontrollable flame of poverty.
I can't cure an entire orphanage of HIV Aids.
I can't prevent every motorcycle accident, or car crash.
I can't provide an education to every soul in need.

But I can play games with little children. I can teach basic life skills to parents in need. I can be an example to a searching soul. I can sacrifice my time. And my efforts. And myself.
I can bring that much to the table.
And then they....

 

....can bring the rest. And so can you.
So that together, we can change the world.
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 And as I watched the wick burn and the lantern slowly lift from her hands I knew I was in the right place. This strange land I so freshly called home. These people I barely knew. It was all right.