Refreshed and Ready. I think?

The August wind wrapped it's warm arms around mine and kissed both my cheeks. 
The sky dimmed and the stars teased their way out from beneath the shadows. 
My hair tickled my face. 
There was just something about this night. 
Something...surreal. 
This night, this summer...all of it felt like...home.


So many nights spent laughing until we couldn't remember what we were laughing about.
So many days spent trying new things and being with old friends.
So much good.
As I stared up into the stars and lost myself deep in thought I could hear his heart beat.
It coincided with mine.
And for a moment, time stood still. 
I felt safe. 
Comfortable.
Secure.
And I knew he did too.
Because together we were like "lemonade on a hotter than crap summer day"
*************************************************************

Well it's time to write a paper. 5 pages.

So...you know what that means. I'm here on the blog. Why does that always happen?

No. Clue. Well..usually.

But today I know why.

Because today I cannot focus. No matter how hard I try. I already wrote one paper. Somehow. And now I'm on to the next. They are due Friday but.....I can't turn them in Friday.

Because I won't be in class.

Because I'll be in Salt Lake.

Because.....

Well because...

....do you remember this guy?

Yeah. He comes home....soon.

Really soon.

Like.

Tomorrow. 

So you can see why I can't seem to get my mind to focus. Well...on anything but tomorrow. 

My feelings? Absolutely terrified. Nervous. Anxious. Excited. Beyond happy. Ecstatic. You get the point. 

My mind is full of so many what if's and then what's. 

But right now, all I can focus on is the remember when's and the I can't wait for's. 

I can't believe this day is here. Honestly. Because remember this day....?

That seems like yesterday.

But  at the same time, light years ago.

Yet here I am. Sitting on my couch awaiting, yet again, so many unknowns, so many mysteries. And I couldn't be happier. 

And ironically? It's a rainy day. And you know how I love rainy days.

I feel refreshed. Scared? Absolutely. Anxious? More than ever. But refreshed. 

After a week of questions, unease, stress, and....emotions fit for a rollercoaster, I can honestly say I am ready. For whatever lies ahead. Ready for the unknown. Ready for the mysteries of this crazy thing called life. 

Today I am ready to face my future. 

No, not because I know all the answers or because I know exactly what is going to happen as I continue down this road. But because I have confidence that someone else does. 

Absolute confidence. 

He knows me. He knows the path I need to be on. He knows where it will take me. And right now, for the first time, I know without a shadow of a doubt, that I am on that path. 

So here I go.

Tomorrow is coming. 

I actually get to see him!

Tomorrow we get to be us.
(well somewhat... I know, awkward missionary mode. Don't worry- fully anticipating it.... maybe I'll get a handshake? Yikes...)

Best. Friends.

I get to reminisce on those days we called "home." Remember those nights we lay illuminated by the star light. Those days we spent laughing in the sun. And anticipate whatever may come the next day. And the next. And the next.

Wish me luck.

I'm definitely gonna need it.

Until the clock strikes 12,
R.