overwhelmed.
underpaid.
heavy-minded. hearted.
And clueless.
'Bout sums me up.
We are moving.
In...
T-minus...
24 days.
Yikes.
We have..
1 car.
No jobs.
A teensy weensy apartment.
Lots of love.
Annnnnd....
that's about it.
Easy breezy Covergirl right?
WRONG Drew Barrymore. WRONG.
So not easy. So not breezy. And I definitely wish I had the complexion of Covergirl. But that's beside the point.
The point is-
I am flippin stressed out.
Phew. That's out.
Annnnd- my lips are chapped.
Could there be a worse combination?! Besides Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey?
(Okay fine I don't even watch it but let's be honest... American Idol would have maybe still had a pull on me without them...Sorry AI- The Voice has officially won me over... )
So besides listening to Pink & F.U.N.'s new song on repeat.. any suggestions on how to do it?
(Judge me. I dare you.)
I happened upon this quote by my all-time favorite Great Uncle:
In my ninety plus years, I have learned a secret. I have learned that when good men and good women face challenges with optimism, things will always work out! Truly, things always work out. Despite how difficult circumstances may look at the moment, those who have faith and move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out.
- President Gordon B. Hinckley
So I guess that's where I'm at. Well at least for now. Until my next emotional break down when I realize we have NO idea what we are doing. Thank goodness for a patient, go-with-the-flow husband. We take turns being the rock. But as of late? He's had to be the rock... a bit more. Again, thank goodness.
I guess it just kind of hit me this week.
The reality of moving forward with faith. Having no idea what on this earth, could possibly come next.
Am I really thinking about opening a preschool?
Do I really want to get my certification this fall? Go back at school?
Will we ever sell our apartment contract?
What the heck am I doing for a job this summer?
When does Snowie open? Should I apply there?
Are we going to be able to even buy butter at the grocery store?!
Do I have to start SEWING all our own clothes?!
I mean really. Totally unrealistic thoughts like that.
It's natural when you are having an almost quarter-life crisis. Trust me. So are cold flashes, acne, and nightmares involving Usher.
Anywho.
You ever been there? Cuz we are smack dab in the middle of it.
Like I said, overwhelmed, underpaid, and...nearly exhausted.
But I guess with a little faith, love, and utter desperation we are going to make it. Right? Not all good things come to an end?
So basically what it's all coming down to is... trust.
Trust that it will all work out. That somewhere in this spider webbed mess of life there is purpose. Divine purpose. That will lead us, if we are trying with all our might to get there, where we need to be. I know it. Not always, but right now, more than usual, I know it. I feel it. And I can't deny it.
So here I am.
Writing it down as proof.
Proof when all H-E-... well when everything comes crashing down, I can remember that at one time, even if but a small moment in time, I knew it. I felt it. And I would not deny it.
Because let's be honest- we all need that little push sometimes. That reminder that we knew we wanted this. And knew we could do it. No matter what this life entails.
And that HE trusted us enough to do it. And do it well.
Because He knew we would try our very best.
And that is all he asks.You can never grow from where you think you should be, you can only grow from where you really are.
And for me... that's worth it.
(Anticipate a possible mood change- again, part of the quarter-life crisis...)
To be able to lay awake laughing at night with the hunk-a-hunk-a-burnin love (shout out to Adam Levine's battle round choice) laughing right along with me. Or come home after a long day of intervening, putting back together, kicking, crying, heck even the occasional ball to the face, to that blue-eyed boy that makes my world go round. And most important- to go out on an absolute limb not knowing where we will step next, knowing we will be okay because we are together.
hand in hand.
clasped tighter than ever.
That is what makes it all worth it.
Ya know what I mean?
I've got a permanent picker-upper when life gets hard.
And someone I get to pick up when he stumbles and falls too.
And we have so much fun doing it.
We are equal. He and I.
And I guess I just really love that.
That's all for now my most fond friends.
R.
4 comments:
OHhhhhhhhh believe me- I've been there. Feeling SO guilty if I bought even one extra thing at the grocery store besides the essential bread, butter, and milk. And crying about it for days. The good news is that it gets easier as time goes on, even if more money doesn't start piling up. Haha. You learn how to budget, what not to spend money on, etc.. haha. The life of a newlywed, right? Keep your chin up! Everything will work out for you guys!!!
#1: You are, and always have been, so much prettier than Drew Barrymore. Plus, she talks weird.
#2: The Voice FINALLY won you over? FINALLY? What kind of Adam Levine lover are you anyway?
#3: I, too, am obsessed with the new Pink song. Catchy little number, isn't it? You and I should be friends in real life. Seems like we have the same playlists.
#4: Poor Mitchell started crying at lunch today while attempting to eat salty potato chips because the salt was ripping up his oh-so-chapped mouth. You're not alone.
#5: Guess that brings me to my final point: You're not alone. We've all been there, and, sadly, many of us are STILL there. I guess it never ends. You open the preschool and then you stress about getting clients. You get clients and then you stress about curriculum. And so on and so forth. The ball never stops rolling. It just continues to snowball as you get further down the road. Yet, you'll come out on top and you might, just maybe, have butter from the grocery store in your hand as proof that you've made it. :) You can do it Rach. You have the man of your dreams behind you, next to you, pulling you toward your best self. And when you'll look back down from the top of this mountain, trust me, you'll wonder how you ever survived the climb. But, you will have done exactly that: survive the climb. We all love you. We're all so proud of you. And if anyone should feel confident about opening a preschool, it should be YOU! (Just watch out for pinworm and lice. Just sayin'...)
Please work at Snowie this summer? Hahaha. I loved this. So happy you and Dave have each other, and I know everything will work out. Plus side, you'll be in Salt Lake so you'll have so many people who love you around you! Can't wait for you to move home. Love you
i forgot how much i love this blog. and how amazing of a writer you are. and have i told you whenever i hear the song 'brighter than the sun,' i think of you? goodness i LOVE YOU! and MiSS you! okay, now i'm off to find this wedding video...
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