Sometimes.

Something is on my mind. I don't really know why. Or really even what exactly. But here it is.

One. Single. Word.

Sometimes.

What does that mean?

Sometimes I get stressed.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed.

Sometimes my room is so messy you can't find a place to step. (but only sometimes...I swear)

Sometimes I'm really hungry. (Okay...most of the time). Sometimes I'm sick.

Sometimes I am so tired I can hardly function.

Sometimes I laugh when I'm really not supposed to.

Sometimes I cry in movies. Even when they aren't sad.

Sometimes I make double batches of muddy buddies....and eat them for every meal. And don't feel bad about it.

Sometimes I go to the gym and overwork myself. So I can't even walk the next day.

Sometimes I don't go the gym. For a long time. When I really should.

Sometimes I know without a doubt in my mind I am where I am supposed to be. Doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

Sometimes I have no clue.

Sometimes I want oreos for dinner.

Sometimes I bite my nails.

Sometimes I think too much.

Sometimes I don't think at all.

Sometimes I wish I could go back.

Sometimes I wish nothing more than to move forward.

Sometimes I say "hi" to that girl I dont really know from class when I see her at the grocery store.

Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I call just to say "I love you."

Sometimes I forget to call and say "Happy Birthday."

Sometimes I do my laundry before I have nothing else to wear. But most the time I don't.

Sometimes I wash the dishes even though they aren't even mine.

Sometimes I stay up too late, and wake up too early.

Sometimes I wait until I have nothing but Cream of Wheat and dry oats to buy groceries.

Sometimes I eat a vegetable.

Sometimes I go to wind orchestra performances at 7: 30 on a Friday night. Alone. (Who does that...?!)

Sometimes I do the weirdest things.

Sometimes funny things happen to me.

Sometimes I am who I want to be. But sometimes I'm not.

Sometimes I do all the right things. Sometimes I read my chapters before class, and do my assignment a week before it's due. Sometimes I smile at everyone I don't know. Sometimes I help when I don't have to. Sometimes I call a friend just so they know they aren't alone. Sometimes I give my all to my church calling. Sometimes I pray every morning and night. Sometimes I bear my testimony in church. Sometimes I give of what I have, to those who don't.

But sometimes? Sometimes is never enough. Think. What if your husband, your wife, your mom, your child, your sister, your brother, your grandma... anyone who loves you, and who you love back.

What if they said "Oh I love you so much...sometimes."

What if you made a mistake, and the response was "I will forgive you...sometimes."

Why do we love sometimes? And forgive sometimes? Why do we serve sometimes? And try harder sometimes?

Sometimes will never be enough.

Think of everything you should do. Everything that you want to do. Why do you want to do them? Because it feels good. Not just sometimes. All the time.

So I'm making a vow to myself. I'm not going to be happy sometimes. I'm not going to be who I want to be sometimes. I'm not going to do better sometimes.

I'm going to be it now. I'm going to do it always. I'm going to try forever.

Because that way, if I don't always do everything right (which believe me....I wont) then I only fail sometimes. And that's okay. Because failure is the key to success.